{"id":370,"date":"2021-03-10T11:35:03","date_gmt":"2021-03-10T11:35:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.control-g.co.uk\/plaintales\/?p=370"},"modified":"2025-12-22T10:27:33","modified_gmt":"2025-12-22T10:27:33","slug":"very-important-news-about-a-new-food-technology","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.control-g.co.uk\/plaintales\/2021\/03\/10\/very-important-news-about-a-new-food-technology\/","title":{"rendered":"Very Important News About A New Food Technology"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Anyone who knows me will have been bored beyond all patience by my frequent mocking of the silly nonsense talked about our food, mostly by wealthy, well-fed, white women with no real problems to worry about. I am talking of course about daft cults like veganism, organic and &#8216;natural&#8217; foods, so-called &#8216;immune-boosting superfoods (ha, ha!), fad diets unsupported by science, anti-GMO, &nbsp;etc. etc.&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So if even I feel I have no choice but to warn you about a new food technology (known as Ignis) then you know it must be worth taking notice.&nbsp; I must emphasise that everything below is indisputable fact, and I can back it up with as many credible references as you like.&nbsp; Every scientist in the world would, I am sure, agree with these statements.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This latest little wheeze from Bill Doors<a href=\"#_ftn1\">[1]<\/a> and Big Pyro is extremely dangerous, but before I tell you why, let me repeat the claims made for this devilish technology.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They say that using Ignis has the following advantages;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Ignis makes food taste better.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ignis makes food easier to eat.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ignis makes food easier to digest.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ignis increases the food supply by increasing the range of foods that we can eat.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ignis aids farmers to reduce unwanted weeds etc. and so helps produce more food.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ignis helps fertilise the earth and so produce more food.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ignis reduces your need for calories and can help you cut your food intake.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ignis can reduce toxic chemicals in some foods, making them safe to eat.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ignis kills or reduces dangerous bacteria and viruses in foods, making them safe to eat.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">However, what they don&#8217;t tell you is this (and remember, these are all stone-cold facts);<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Ignis makes food carcinogenic.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ignis emits dangerous radiation that has killed and maimed millions of people.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ignis is so dangerous it can damage or even destroy buildings it comes into contact with.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ignis destroys vitamins and other nutrients in food.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ignis emits highly toxic particles that can cause cancer and a range of serious respiratory conditions.\u00a0 Millions of people have had their lives shortened or ended by exposure to Ignis-generated particles.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ignis has never been independently tested for safety.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Even Big Pyro admit that Ignis is not safe for children or animals.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Most animals are scared of Ignis and avoid it as much as possible.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ignis has destroyed millions of acres of forest around the world, including vast areas of the Amazon.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ignis prevents you from burning calories and hence contributes to obesity.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ignis is essential in making GMOs, nerve poisons and other toxic chemicals.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Scientists are using Ignis to make genetically engineered versions of common foods to reduce the carcinogens actually created by Ignis in the first place!<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ignis kills friendly bacteria that help maintain a healthy gut microbiome, the lack of which can lead to many unpleasant and dangerous consequences.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I urge you all to warn everyone you know about this deadly technology.&nbsp; Share the information on reliable sources of news, such as FakeBook\u2122 and Twatter\u2122.&nbsp; Don&#8217;t let these Evil Scientists get away with their dastardly plans!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">PS.\u00a0 A smattering of a classical education will help you understand this post. \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"#_ftnref1\">[1]<\/a> Discworld fans will get the reference to Death in &#8216;Reaper Man&#8217;, and a well-known Evil Genius who puts nanobots in vaccines.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Anyone who knows me will have been bored beyond all patience by my frequent mocking of the silly nonsense talked about our food, mostly by wealthy, well-fed, white women with no real problems to worry about. I am talking of course about daft cults like veganism, organic and &#8216;natural&#8217; foods, so-called &#8216;immune-boosting superfoods (ha, ha!), fad diets unsupported by science, anti-GMO, &nbsp;etc. etc.&nbsp;&nbsp; So if even I feel I have no choice but to warn you about a new food technology (known as Ignis) then you know it must be worth taking notice.&nbsp; I must emphasise that everything below is indisputable fact, and I can back it up with as many credible references as you like.&nbsp; Every scientist in the &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/blogs.control-g.co.uk\/plaintales\/2021\/03\/10\/very-important-news-about-a-new-food-technology\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-370","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humour","category-rants"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.control-g.co.uk\/plaintales\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/370","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.control-g.co.uk\/plaintales\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.control-g.co.uk\/plaintales\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.control-g.co.uk\/plaintales\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.control-g.co.uk\/plaintales\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=370"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.control-g.co.uk\/plaintales\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/370\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1684,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.control-g.co.uk\/plaintales\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/370\/revisions\/1684"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.control-g.co.uk\/plaintales\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=370"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.control-g.co.uk\/plaintales\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=370"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.control-g.co.uk\/plaintales\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=370"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}